Hysterical Paroxysm or Hell to the Yeah!!!!

So I'm sitting here watching this show called Curiosity on the Science Channel. Because, as you know, I am wildly interested in furthering my knowledge on any subject. Additionally, I am a life-long learner, as it were. Okay, whatever, I also waste a ton of time when I should be writing. I'm the queen at finding other things to do other than write. But this is totally research, I swear. The show I am now watching is all about the orgasm. See . . . I'm an author of erotic romance so I'm gaining knowledge to use in my books.

I discovered that there is a museum in New York that contains the very first vibrators. These came about because doctors decided that women needed a "hysterical paroxysm" to keep them healthy. So women would go to the doctor to receive one of these. *snicker* Because it got hard . . . I mean difficult for these doctors to get all these women off so vibrators were developed to make it easier to give women the paroxysms quickly. Can you imagine? Going to the doctor's office to pay a doctor to give you an orgasm?? Soon though these handy-dandy machines were being offered in catalogs like Sears.

Anyway, out of this entire hour it comes down *giggle* to it just feeling good and being good for you. Really? It took a bunch of scientists and even more money to come up with this conclusion? Hell, I could have told them that and they wouldn't even have to pay me that much. I mean, look at how well romance novels sell. Who wants to read about a woman who never has an orgasm? Or whose love life is so boring you'd just prefer to eat a bowl of ice cream? Yeah, me neither. We want . . . no we need to read about people having mind-blowing sex usually contained within a relationship. So, hell yeah it's good for us.

But I think this shows us that sex, for women, is all in the mind. In fact, there was a woman in the show who thought herself to orgasm. She didn't touch herself or use a vibrator, nothing, she just thought it. Wow, can you imagine doing that? Sitting on the bus or at our desk and whammo we have an orgasm. Hmmm, now that is a good way to spend some time.

Inside Looking Out Pt 2

Okay, so I'm back again to talk about my totally cool job at The Frazier History Museum. One of the coolest things about the museum are the tableaux that you can find all throughout the floors. I'm sure you are asking about now, "Gwen, what is a tableau?" And I am here to tell you that they are life-like figures that represent moments in history. Such as the one to the left, which represents the Battle of Towton. They are made from fiberglass, but let me tell you if you couldn't touch them (which you can't cause you don't work here) you'd think they were real. :-)

I often get children that come up and tell me the figures move. My first response is the pat thing about not having a cool Egyptian tablet like Night at the Museum so they can't move. They are fake, blah, blah, blah. But sometimes I get those persistent kids that listen, somewhat impatiently, to this line of bull and still tell me the figures moved. One kid told me that a figure winked at him even after I explained that there was no way since the figures are not alive. When he still kept tell me it winked, I of course did the totally adult things and said, "Well did you wink back?" He thought briefly and said, "No." My reply, "Well next time just wink. He gets bored and likes to make friends." He's satisfied, I'm satisfied, life moves on.

So the next time you go into a museum and find they have tableaux. Wink at them. They get lonely and just want to be noticed.

Inside Looking Out

By the title of this post you might think I'm going to talk about how I spent my time in the big house, the pokie, the . . . ummm, whatever else people call prison. Yeah, but I'm not because I got nothing for you on that score. But what I can talk about, at great length is what it's like to work in a museum.

When I'm not churning out tales of erotic romance I am an educator at a history museum, which has got to be one of the coolest jobs ever! The museum contains artifacts that date back to the Bronze Age (3000 BCE) and all the way up to the early 20th Century. This makes for a huge mish-mash of knowledge and fun facts I have stored up in my brain. I can't always access those facts, but they're there all the same. I swear! Or as the older people say around here, "I swanee!"

Anyway, Our newest artifact on display is the 18th Century Samurai armor (pictured left). This is ten kinds of cool and what's even cooler? I got to touch it!!!! One of the curators offered me a glove so I could actually handle this amazing piece of history. What girl would turn that down? Yeah, nobody I know. So I touched. *g* Now I've got ideas for a book churning in my head. What else would a writer who works in a museum do, but come up with stories to go along with this stuff? That's the beauty of working here. I never feel as if I'm "wasting" time when I could be writing since my mind is going constantly.

I am someone who can truly say that I love my job!

Resolutions!

Hmmm, can one make resolutions in August? Ah well I never claimed to be a normal citizen so I'm walking my own walk and making my resolutions now. I guess I feel it's time to get up and get moving. My Mom died a year ago in July and to say this past year has been difficult is putting it mildly. A list of my accomplishments for the year is sad at best. I gained 25 pounds (yah Gwen O_o), started 6 books, but didn't finish any and the only exercise I got was walking to the refrigerator. *sigh* Not anything to be proud of, that's for sure. Last Thursday, August 2nd, is when I decided enough is enough. I am now exercising. I've done Tae Bo almost everyday, gave up all soft drinks, and am eating better. This Wednesday I am flying to Philadelphia to attend the Authors After Dark Conference where I will meet up with my writing partner in crime, Jessica Jarman. Together we are going to jump into writing and get moving. I have other things I want to accomplish this year, but so far I am pretty happy with the path I'm on.