Thursday, April 30, 2015


Almost a year ago, I wrote a post on why I don't have kids. If you'd like to read it, here's the link. On top of the "do you have any kids" question, I also get asked if I'm married, in a relationship, whatever. Yeah, no, no I'm not. And that's okay. Problem is, people don't think it's okay. I get the pitying looks. I remember my aunt always telling my mom that my man was out there somewhere. Ummm, no, no he's not. And if he is, sorry fella not interested.

Here's the deal. Our society somehow wants women to feel bad if they're not in relationship. And, we, as women, have bought into this crap. The other day I was reading Facebook and someone was going on about how she didn't have a "man" in her life. And how incomplete she felt. First of all, she was barely 22 or something so I doubt very highly she actually knew any real men. Just sayin . . . 

I digress though, the whole things was she didn't feel complete, whole, fulfilled unless she was in a relationship. That made me really sad that this young girl had already bought into society's framework for what makes a woman successful.

And, I'm sure, someone out there is going: You're such a hypocrite. You write romance novels. And my response is, "Guess what? The books I write aren't real. They're fantasy. The people in the books are created from my imagination so they act the way I tell them." That is so not real life.

Here's real life. I mentioned in the past that my dad was an alcoholic. He and my mom had a truly rocky relationship. He asked her to marry him, she said yes, they were engaged for a while, until she finally gave the ring back and broke up with him. Story obviously doesn't end there. They get back together and one day, out of the blue, one of them mentions getting married. They go to the courthouse and get married. Great story, right? No, because Mom told me they each thought marrying was a bad idea, but neither one spoke up so whammo they're married. Within a week or so, Dad came home to find his shit tossed out on the front porch. They made up and then  Mom had a massive health issue come up. She was diagnosed with TB (tuberculosis) and sent to Waverly Hills, where she lived for a year. Mom said if she hadn't been put in the hospital, they probably would have gotten a divorce.

They were married nearly 7 years (only lived together 6 years) before having kids. I doubt it was all sunshine and roses during that time. I was born and when I was nearly two (I think) my dad didn't come home one day. He just flat didn't come home. Mom had no idea where he was. He didn't call, didn't show up. Nothing. She was left trying to pay all the bills, take care of me, work, etc with no idea where her husband was. She told me we ate a lot of fish sticks since that's what she could afford. I HATE fish sticks. Looking at them, makes me want to puke. 

Anyway, I was a daddy's girl so my daddy not coming home apparently flipped my shit. Mom had to take me to the doctor to get put on baby Valium to calm down. Finally, after a month or so she called his work, told him she was getting a divorce and he came home. I would have divorced his ass, but she didn't. Because that's not how she was raised. Looking back, I'm glad she didn't, since I wouldn't have my sister. But damn, really?

See, though, I can't spill all this out to people when they ask me why I'm not married, in a relationship, whatever. After living through all that, no, just no. I've seen a small handful of good relationships, but that wasn't until I was an adult. As a child, all I saw was dysfunction everywhere. I knew, I would never get married. I didn't want to get married. I didn't want kids, which meant I didn't want a husband, since you have to take care of them too. 

I'm happy. Really. I'm not lying. Are there issues? Well, yeah, I have mental healthy issues. I have clinical depression, which I take meds for. Does it fix everything totally? No, but I know what to look for so I can take care of myself. Beyond that, I'm happy. I don't NEED someone to MAKE me happy. And, I'm sorry, if you think somebody will bring you happiness, it will never happen. No one will make you happy. You have to be happy, all on your own, before you can be happy with someone else. 

I've been thinking about this post for a really long time and finally decided, yeah, I'm going to write it. Maybe someone who reads it will realize it's okay to be single. Or, it's okay to be messed up. LOL! I don't think anyone is "normal" there's no such thing. We all fall somewhere on the dysfunction spectrum, it really depends on just how dysfunctional we are. You know? 

Oh, and if someone is trying to force you into a relationship. Thank that person very kindly and run away. You are the only one that knows you best. And if you're not ready, you're not ready. And, if you're never ready, then guess what, that's okay too. The only person you have to satisfy, at the end of the day, is yourself.

Take care! -- Gwen

Wednesday, April 29, 2015


Hello! Before I leap up onto my soapbox and start spouting stuff let me share Wednesday Manly Hotness with you.

Our topic this week, weirdly enough, is one I've been thinking about lately. Someone on twitter basically said, something to the affect of, if a writer isn't (fill in the blank with religion, race, creed, whatever) then he or she shouldn't be writing about a character that is. Or, something like that. My thought was, that's the old mantra of write what you know, which is something most writers are told.

Here's my thought. Oh hell no! I can't imagine anyone wanting to read a book based around stuff that I "know." I'm in my 40s, never been married, don't have kids, teacher, sexual abuse survivor, child of an alcoholic parent . . . Weeeeee!!!! So much fun! I bet everyone would be rushing to read that shit. NOT!

Write what you know is ridiculous because I'm not a vampire, werewolf, ghost, demon, alien, or anything else paranormal and no other author I know is either. Oh wait, I'm not a guy either so there shouldn't be men in my books. Very hard to have a MF romance without the male half. So, if we stick with the whole idea of the writing rule, then none of those stories would exist. 

As a writer, I want to tell the best story I can so I use that magical thing called an imagination. My heroes and heroines are my creation and if they happen to be another race, color, creed, sexual orientation, or from another planet then that's how I'll write them. Because, to me, those people I create are the story. If I had another character then the story would be completely different.

I write romance. So, none of my books are going to be part of Oprah's Book Club or some kind of shit. I'll leave the gritty, true-to-life, tear-jerkers to other people because that's not my style. I've lived the crap so I certainly don't want to write about it. I want my books to be a form of fun escape and, my characters, people you can like. They aren't there to make a statement. 

To me, this is writing what I know. I know how to daydream. I know how to escape using my imagination. So I want to create the same thing for my readers. 

And that's my opinion on the entire issue. Now aren't you glad someone asked?? Hahahahahaha!

Now run over and check out what the other ladies have to say.

Jessica D

See you next week! -- Gwen

Wednesday, April 22, 2015


Looking for hot man pics?? Is that a bad thing?

Okay, yeah so I spend too much time doing things I shouldn't. I am a total goof off and often can't get focused. 

Can you say procrastination?? Yeah, that's me. I've always been that way. I remember, many moons ago, in high school I had a huge report due. I dutifully did all the research, because I love that part, but didn't write the paper until the night before it was due. Yeah, it had to have footnotes and everything. 

I got better in college, because I had to. I was working full time and going to school so I had to make sure the papers were done. By the end though, I got really good at whipping out a 3-5 page paper in one night. Go me!

I also love, love, love to read. In the last week or so, I've read . . . 6 books? Yeah, 6 books. If it's an author I adore then I can finish a book in one day, like today. I downloaded Amanda Quick's new book Garden of Lies and was finished with it by late this afternoon. 

Facebook, emails, Twitter, and the Interwebz are other ways I goof off. I gotta stay connected, but ending up on Youtube watching videos doesn't get a book written. 

I've actually had to turn my wifi off so I'll work because I'll think to myself, "I'll just check my email" and BAM! three hours later and no words are written. 

So, obviously, I spend too much time doing stuff I shouldn't. How do you spend your time?? Just let me know in the comments below and, if it sounds fun, I might try it. LOL

Now run and check out the other Blogger Girlz:

Jessica D

See you all next week!! -- Gwen

Monday, April 20, 2015


Hello! The below piece was inspired by a Death Cab for Cutie song called "I Will Possess Your Heart." If your interested in hearing and seeing the video here it is:

Now onto my piece. Oh and yes, this is the beginning of what will become a book. The entire scene came to me out of nowhere and I had to type it out before I forgot. I hope you enjoy.

“I only need a thousand.”

Cara stared at her younger sister silently. How many times had she heard a sentence starting with those three words? A lot. She’d heard it a lot, the amount of money varied with each ask, but her sister still asked and she always gave. And still, it just wasn’t enough. The girl couldn’t get her life together. Hell, she didn’t try to get her life together, not when she had Cara to act as a money machine.

“Cara, are you listening to me?”

Cara looked at the twenty-two year old woman in front of her with her pink and blue hair, neck tattoos, and rows of piercings around both ears. If she continued to give her money, she’d never grow up. She needed to grow up. Get a job. Get a life. One that wasn’t spent wasting her life.

“Here’s what’s going to happen,” Cara finally spoke, “and you will listen. I will give you two hundred dollars. No more.”

“What?” Deena gaped at her. “I need a thousand dollars. Two hundred won’t work.”

Cara shook her head. “No, no more, Deena. Do you know how much money I’ve given to you over the last five years? Probably close to ten thousand dollars. Ten thousand, Deena, that’s a lot of money that’s just gone. I can’t get it back. I might have been in my own home now instead of still living in this apartment. Instead, I chose to invest in your future, but you didn’t do anything with it.”

Deena rolled her eyes. “Really? I’m getting a lecture?”

“Yes,” Cara said, her voice cool, “because obviously you can’t get your shit together. So, here’s the deal. I give you two hundred and that’s it. You need to go out and get a job. I will not give you any more money. I just don’t have it to give.”

“What the fuck’s going on?”

Cara looked toward the man standing in doorway of the kitchen. She’d forgotten Deena had brought her latest boyfriend with her. The man was too old for her sister, probably in his mid-thirties, but at this point she didn’t care anymore. She was tired of caring. Deena didn’t care, obviously, and Cara was tired of carrying the load.

“Nothing that concerns you,” Cara said. “My sister and I are talking.”

“She won’t give us the money,” Deena said, turning to him.

“I already told you, I’ll give you two hundred. That’s all I have.”

He nodded. “Are you sure?”

“What?” Cara asked. “Am I sure? Yes, I’m sure. Not that any of this is your business.”

In a split second, he pulled a knife and thrust it into Cara’s body. She staggered back, gasping, as she dropped to the floor. Pain. Such pain.

“I’ll take her body out and dump it,” the man said.

“Deena,” Cara whispered, “help me.”

Her sister leaned over her, shaking her head. “You should have just given us the money.”

Cara opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Darkness swam in her vision and she didn’t want to die. Not like this. Not now. Too much to do. She hadn’t really lived yet. 

If you have comments please leave them down below. Now, run over and check out the other April song pieces.

Jessica D

See you on Wednesday! -- Gwen

Wednesday, April 15, 2015


Happy Gwensday! So, today is another 5 words or less, which is really tough for me. I like to chat and share . . . a lot. Oh, first manly hotness.

Now here are the words I came up with each of the categories. This was tough since this whole post revolves around writing. I know, sad huh? 

My Blog: Thoughtful, Scheduled, Creative, Fun, Tough

My Fiction: Dreams, Paranormal, Action, Hot, Fun

My Creative Process: Messy, Scattered, Confusing, Driven, All-consuming

Now run over and check out what the other ladies have to say about things.

Jessica D

See you all next week!! -- Gwen

Wednesday, April 8, 2015


Hello! And welcome once again to the crazy randomness of Wednesday. Today we are writing thank you/love letters to something we couldn't live without. Before, I jump in let me share hotness with you, since that's what you probably show up for.

Dearest Laptop,

I know, I probably don't say it enough, but I am filled with hearts and flowers for you. 

I don't know how I can even begin to share with you the ways you enrich my life. I mean, really, you connect me to the entire world. Through you I can collect amazing hot man pics, watch kitty videos, shop for whatever I want, find awesome knitting patterns, keep in contact with friends, play games, do research, and write. 

That's just a tiny list of all that you do. I know, sometimes, I ignore you, but only for a day--never ever more than that. You are the first thing I pack when I head on vacation. You've gone with me everywhere. When you had amazing battery life, I even toted you to the doctor, hospital, and work. Now . . . not so much, but that's okay. You are still my lovey, snuggly, cuddle lump and this song's for you.

I can even read when we're together and for that I'm grateful. I know I run you hard. Hell, we're together all day long, but that's because I NEED you. Plus, writing . . . writing takes time. Sometimes, I'm in the middle of something and realize I need to do research and you are right there for me. You handle multi-tasking like a champ and for that I give you a high-five and a fist bump. 

hugs and furry, purry kisses,


Now, run over and check out what the other Blogger Girlz are so thankful for. Additionally, if you want to tell me what you love and can't live without, drop me a comment below.

Jessica D.

See you all next week! -- Gwen

Monday, April 6, 2015


The young woman, barely grown, lurked in the bushes waiting. He told her he’d be waiting, but she couldn’t see him. Dang, Danny anyway, asking her to sneak out. If her mama and daddy found out, she’d be grounded for a thousand years. She’d wanted to see him so bad though, now, here she was, sneaking around practically in the middle of the night.
A small light flickered across the dark road and she quickly fumbled with her own flashlight. She flicked it on three times in a row and smile as Danny burst out of woods. She hurried out to meet him and they stood a moment just smiling like loons at each other.
“Jacey, I’m so glad you came,” he said taking her hand.
“Me too, but I can’t stay long.”
“Believe me, I know. If my mom and dad find out I’m not in the house they will destroy me.”
Before she could respond, a bright light appeared overhead, illuminating the stretch of road. Everything lit up, bathed in an eerie blue-white glow. Danny grabbed her hand as a low humming began, more something that was felt in the bones than heard. Jacey instinctively backed away from whatever was coming toward them. Could it be a helicopter? It wasn’t a plane. She might live in the country, but she wasn’t stupid. Or, maybe she was, since she’d snuck out of her house and no one knew where she was.
The one light separated into four and began to swirl around in a circle, like a wheel at the carnival. Then, the wheel of lights moved toward the ground and Jacey saw it wasn’t attached to a helicopter.  No, the vehicle with the lights was disc shaped and large…really large. The trees, on either side of the road, slowly began to bend away from the vehicle, but from what she could see, nothing was causing the movement. She couldn’t feel any wind at all, but the trees still moved as the saucer began to lower towards the road.
“Aliens?” Danny said, hoarsely. “There’s no such thing. What’s going on?”
Jacey shook her head, too scared to reply. This couldn’t be happening to them. All they wanted was to meet and hang out, maybe share some kisses. They hadn’t wanted trouble. And, they certainly, hadn’t wanted to run into anything weird. Nothing ever happened in the small town they lived in. Of course, Johnny Tilder and his friends had sworn they’d seen Bigfoot while they were camping, but everyone knew Johnny and his friends took drugs. Besides, there weren’t such a thing as Bigfoot or aliens. And yet, there wasn’t any other explanation for the thing currently coming toward them.
When the craft hovered about fifteen feet above the road, an opening appeared and a long ramp slid out. A mechanical voice began to speak and it took a moment for Jacey to understand what it said.
“Attention Earthlings. Please come up the ramp and prepare to be probed.”
Danny let loose with a high-pitched shriek and began dragging Jacey behind him. The two teens ran down the road until they found the path she’d taken earlier to meet up with him. They ran like all the hounds of Hell were on their trail and they didn’t stop until they were finally back at Jacey’s house.

Grejak closed the door of their ship and, fell against it, laughing. The two humans had run so fast, it was as if their feet hadn’t even touched the ground. Chartex came through the doorway from the main bridge and he too was laughing.
“You must come and see the holo-images of the event,” Chartex said. “I’m so glad we invested in the new equipment. It caught everything, including the high squealing cry the male made.”

Grejak followed his best friend back to the bridge as their ship began to leave the small planet’s atmosphere. With the new footage, they were sure to win the top spot in the Zoinked competition. How could they not? Tricking humans always made the crowd laugh and the young human’s screams would finally put them in the winner’s spot.

I hope you enjoyed! I was in the mood to write something just a bit funny and different. Now, run over the check out what the other ladies did with the image. I'm sure you won't be disappointed.

Jessica D

See you all on Wednesday!! -- Gwen

Wednesday, April 1, 2015


As always, before we leap into the randomness of Wednesday, let me give you male hotness

So, today our topic is all about our favorite season. Right this very instant, I'd say spring since I am so tired of winter. We've had a few warm days here and there and it just makes me want it more. I'm tired of my sweaters, coats, and sitting under blankets. I long for warm breezes and pretty flowers. 

I took this pic in Charlotte last year during AAD

In reality though, my very favorite season is Fall. I love when the leaves change and air becomes crisp with just a hint of chill. 
I love how blue the sky looks against the perfect colors.

It's the time to wear long sleeved shirts and hoodies. Bonfires are held and I can sit out without freezing my ass off or getting eaten by bugs. My sister and I usually go to the Smokey Mountains during this time and it's just so perfect.
We can throw open the windows in the house and not have to worry about heat or air. Thankfully, lawn mowers can finally go away and all types of pumpkin goodness comes out. Yum!!

Fall also heralds the holidays! And my very favorite is Halloween. Part of it, of course, has to do with me being pagan. So, Halloween is the Witch's New Year and it's a wonderful sacred holiday. Yeah, yeah, but really it's just damn fun. I love to decorate!

I have like 3 tubs of decorations that I put up. Plus, I always go out looking for more. I'm a more is more kind of girl when it comes to decorating. And, I can finally wear all my cute Halloween tee shirts too! 

This is also the time of year Yankee Candle brings out all their fall fragrances so I go crazy and usually buy 4 huge jar candles. Hey, they send me coupons what am I going to do?? The house always smells so good. Our favorites last year were Apple Pumpkin and Spiced Pumpkin. Do you noticed the theme??

Ultimately, Fall, to me, is a magical time of year. It's filled with fun and friends and possibilities. Everyone seems so upbeat and it's probably due to all the coming holidays and the fact that the kids are back in school and now everyone is back on a real schedule. 

If you want, tell me what your favorite season is in the comments below. Now run over and check out the other Blogger Girlz and see what they have to say. 

Jessica D.

See you all next week! -- Gwen