Wednesday, January 25, 2017

THE WORST PLACE I'VE BEEN STUCK


The first thought that came to mind when I saw this idea for random Wednesday was . . . work. Then I realized it wouldn't make for a very good story, since, yeah, we've all been there.

So, let me tell you about the time I ended up in a jungle in Mexico.

Yeah, I wish, but not hardly. It was more like . . .



And hot, so miserably hot. Over 100 degrees Fahrenheit with about a billion percent humidity. 

So, a friend of mine and I decided to go to Mexico, the Riviera Maya to be exact to an all-inclusive resort. So much awesome. We decided we'd spend the first day taking a small tour, nothing big deal, to see the ruins. We signed up for a half-day (this part is important) tour of a place called Coba. The guy told us half-day, we both heard half-day. Can you guess what it wasn't??? You got it!! Half-day!

On the bus, heading to Coba, our guide is talking about all the amazing things we were doing that day. See Coba, have lunch, visit a village and trek through the jungle trying to see monkeys in the wild. WHAT??!!! 



Sadness, lamentations, and much cursing followed, but we were stuck. And really, how bad could it get? Right?

Coba was really amazing, but it was around 9 in the morning and the temps were already well into the upper 90s. Any breeze that came was hot and kicked up dust. Imagine sweat, loads of sweat, combined with dust. I'm sure you can now picture what we looked like.

At least we had dressed correctly. One woman on this adventure to hell was in an "outfit." Fancy shorts and top, dress shoes, jewelry, makeup, and fabulous updo. A man had on a track suit (pants and jacket), t-shirt, and sneakers. Last time I checked, the jungle had no track and field events. 

By the time we made it to the jungle, it was fairly late in the afternoon and we were hot, sweaty and exhausted. Our guide informed us, quite vehemently, that we were to stay with our individual guides since this was the jungle. No marked paths, no maps, no nothing. Oh, and by the way, the guides don't speak English. Of course they don't. 

I found myself in a group with track suit guy. I felt so bad for him since he was a tad overweight and his pants had begun to sag. In fact, I realized the pants we're a bit long on him. As he scuffed along, he was walking on the bottom of his pants. As we trudged through the green hell, track suit guy kept walking slower and slower. Now, there was no way to pass him, since the "path" was tiny, and I realized we were losing the rest of our group and, more importantly, the guide. 

At this point, my amazing friend nudged my back and hissed, "Get his ass moving or I will." Throughout our hike, she had been cursing up a storm behind me and I knew our track-suited friend would not survive her wrath. She probably would have booted him right off the "path" into the jungle where something was waiting to eat him. So I, being an elementary teacher, did what elementary teachers do. I put on my "Miss Mary-fucking-Sunshine" voice and clapped my hands behind Track Suit's back.

"Okay now, let's go, go, go. We don't want to lose our guide."

In my head, I was thinking - Because if we do, we'll be lost forever and you my track suited friend will be sacrificed for the good of the group and because you pissed everyone off.

He instantly snapped to attention and hauled ass to catch up. Yes!! Score one for the teacher.

Obviously, we made it back to the hotel since I'm sitting here typing this. The clothing I was wearing, did not. It was not salvageable. The heat and humidity had baked the dirt into my shirt, shorts and socks and no amount of washing could get them clean. I even used bleach on the socks and they still came out beige. 

And that is the story of the worst place I've ever been stuck. Now go and check out where the other bloggers wanted to escape from.

Bronwyn
Paige
Kellie
Jessica D
Deelylah

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

MUSICAL MUSINGS


Hello!! This is a new feature for the randomness that is Wednesday and I am so excited. I love music! Always have. When I was a kid I had a small tape recorder that I would hold up to the radio to make my own mixed tapes. LOL! I'd get so mad if someone would talk or walk in and mess the song up. *rolling eyes* Yeah, as if the recording was going to be all that great anyway. It didn't matter though since I made dozens of those tapes. 



Now, it's even better since I have a MP3 player that I have hundreds (well over a thousand) songs on that I can listen to and they are all pristine quality.



1. Favorite Soundtrack: Hamilton, of course. I'm going to say, at least, four of the other bloggers are going to say Hamilton too. This isn't the only soundtrack I love. I've been listening to musicals since I was a kid. I love Kiss Me, Kate, Seven Brides for Seven Brothers, and Camelot. After Hamilton, my favorite is Kiss Me, Kate and Beauty and the Beast! 




2. Song that Makes Me Want to Dance - Dang, there are so many. Bang, Bang - Jessie J, Nicki Minaj, Ariana Grande; Burnin' Up - Jessie J, Shake it Off - Taylor Swift . . . I could go on and on. If it has a beat then I will dance. Yeah, but not like this




3. Song I Love to Sing Along With - This is another category I will say, pick one. Hell, I'll belt out Alexander Hamilton one minute, Shake it Off the next, and end with Down with the Sickness. When I was teaching, I made up songs to sing to my kids. They, of course, loved it. I think the one that I enjoy most is Shake it Off because it has a great beat and I place a lot of meaning to it. 



And there you go. My thoughts on music. Now go over and check out what the other bloggers have to say.

Bronwyn
Jessica
Kris
Paige
Torrance




Wednesday, January 11, 2017

JANUARY PROMPTLY PENNED



Cara showed up at Ben's door soaking wet, bruised, and covered in glitter.

"What the hell?" he exclaimed, taking in her appearance.

"The only good thing I can say is, no one got arrested," she replied, stepping inside to drip on the little rug inside the front door. "But, I am never, ever going to another bachelorette party planned by your sister."

“Shit,” Ben said, rushing over with towels, “I told her nothing crazy.”

“Well, if you consider strippers, huge glitter bombs, and a fight then yeah it wasn’t crazy at all.”

Cara stripped her sodden, gritter covered clothes off and carefully placed them on one of the towels. Yep, they were definitely going in the trash. There was no way she was putting them in the washer and ending up with glitter on everything they washed for the next ten years. The stuff was like cat hair, once it got on something it just wouldn’t come off. Ever.

Ben wrapped the second towel around her and hugged her close. “I am so sorry. I hope you are still planning to marry me.”

“I kind of have to, we already bought the house together,” she teased, leaning her head on his chest.

“That’s right,” he said, kissing her, “the house and I are a package deal.”

He led her through the house to the bathroom, where she climbed into the shower. Sighing, she stepped under the hot spray and watched streams of glitter run over her body and down the drain. She hoped like hell the water company wouldn’t call them complaining.

“So, please tell me what happened?” Ben said, from the other side of the curtain.

“She took us to this classy place called The Meat Market, where we were forced to drink horrible, over-priced drinks through penis straws. Unfortunately, there was another bachelorette party going on at the same time as mine and, I think, certain people, thought it was a competition over which group could be the most outrageous.”

“My sister?”

“Yeah, but she wasn’t the only one. There were two or three girls, including the bride, from the other group who acted like they’d lost their mind. If one of us would stuff a dollar, then two or three of them would stuff more. If one of the dancers was wagging his junk in our face they wanted him to come over to them. I don’t know, it just got stupid. Alcohol was consumed, insults hurled, and the next thing you know glitter had appeared.”

Ben stuck his head around the shower curtain. “How did glitter get involved?”

“I don’t know,” Cara said, shaking her head, “I was an innocent bystander. One minute I was sucking my penis straw and the next thing you know I had a face full of glitter.”

Ben coughed into his hand, which she knew, from experience, meant he was trying not to laugh. She rolled her eyes at him and rinsed the soap from her hair.

“Okay, so then what happened?”

“Are you done laughing?”

He tried to look serious as he nodded at her, but his eyes gave him away.

Ignoring him, she went on. “Once glitter was thrown, bouncers showed up, but that didn’t stop your sister from getting into a fight with the other bride. Punches were exchanged and then other people started getting involved. It basically turned into a mini-brawl. I tripped over a chair trying to get away from the fight and ended up scraping my knee and hands.”

Ben climbed into the shower with her and she smiled. Damn the man was handsome and he was all hers. Every last inch of him. He put his arms around her and she snuggled into his embrace.

“I am so sorry,” he murmured against her ear.

“It’s not your fault. I will admit that I left. I have no idea what happened. I know I heard someone yell to call the cops, but beyond that I haven’t a clue. It could be that my entire bridal party is spending the night in jail. I don’t know.”

“So, you’re telling me if the phone rings—”

“Be prepared to bail some people out of jail.”

This time he didn’t hold back and burst out laughing. “I think you and I are going to stay right here. If the phone does ring, we won’t hear it.”


“Good idea,” she said, going up on her tip-toe to kiss him softly on the lips.

Now go check out what the other bloggers do with the story starter.


Wednesday, January 4, 2017

JANUARY TOP 10!



Hello and welcome to 2017!! We've added a new topic to the randomness that is Wednesday. I know, we're tricky. We like to spice things up and keep y'all on your toes.

So, I'm supposed to list the top 10 things I'm proud of. Let's hope I come up with ten and really, these are in no particular order.

1. Actually finishing a book - of course, this isn't a work that would ever see the light of day, but I learned that I could finally write The End.

2. Publishing my books - I dreamt of being a published author and it actually happened. 

3. Starting college - we didn't have the money so I didn't go to college right out of high school. Luckily, I got a job at a private university and was able to work toward my bachelor degree.

4. Getting my Masters of Art in Teaching - such hard work since it meant going to school full time and working full time.

5. Graduating from university . . . three times! Yep, I have 2 undergraduate degrees and a Masters. Go me!

6. Surviving clinical depression - this is an on-going battle, but I'm winning.

7. Writing a letter to the person who sexually molested me and giving the guilt and the responsibility to him, where it belongs.

8. Kinder self-talk - I used to talk to myself so horribly. I mean, really, if I'd spoken to another person the way I talked to myself I would have had no friends. Now, I find that when I make a mistake I just take it in stride and move on.

9. I can stand up for myself and I don't feel guilty about it. 

10. I have learned to say No and mean it.

Now go and check out what the other bloggers are proud of. And, if you want, you can leave a comment below telling me what you are most proud of.

Bronwyn
Jessica
Kris
Paige
Deelylah
Torrance